Disappearing in Divorce: A psychological analysis of Allegra Goodman’s The Last Grownup

Anita Novak-Tihor

Most are familiar with the archetypal characters of every successful work of fiction, and there have been many discussions about the perfect recipe for character ingredients using examples such as Star Wars, Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings. Each has a concoction of archetypes with functions to evoke emotion and keep the plot moving. Less talked about, however, is that the mastermind behind the theory was Carl Jung, a psychoanalyst, or how the idea reflects our collective unconscious mind and desires. Young theorized that our personalities don’t start as a blank sheet of paper but draw from a collective unconscious that every human shares. The true Self is the unified psyche of persona – the self we present to others – the shadow – our unconscious mind and desires that are hidden even to us – and the anima/animus – the opposite gender image (Long). Allegra Goodman’s “The Last Grownup” shows us how these archetypes manifest in our relatable everyday lives through the experiences of a divorced Mother–Debra. As she navigates the emotional and social complexities of life after her marriage has ended, the story delves into themes of maturity, adaptability, social challenges, and the struggles of maintaining dignity. In “The Last Grownup”, Debra, a freshly divorced mother, grapples with the loss of her identity and purpose as she confronts the diminishing significance of her role within the Mother archetype, all while engaging in a half-conscious struggle against her shadow self, embodied by the archetype of the Rebel.

So, how many archetypes exist? While Jung himself did not make a specific list of archetypes as he said “It is no use at all to learn a list of archetypes by heart. Archetypes are complexes of experiences that come upon us like fate, and their effects are felt in our most personal life” (Jung) there are a couple that significantly stand out as a sort of guide to tap into the collective unconscious. The traditional ones are The Mother/The Nourishing Mother, The Trickster, The Hero, The wise old man, The Child, and the expanded archetypes are The Destroying Angel, The Whore/Seductress, The Lover, The Creator, The Ruler, The Rebel/Outlaw, The Seeker, and this list goes on. So how do these archetypes appeal to Debra and her complicated family in the light of change in their everyday life?

The Mother Archetype’s role and purpose is life-giving, nurturing, and caring for others with love and devotion (Jung) Debra is a strong mother figure, who devoted her life to her children. Before she was a wife, she was a mother, now worried about losing her daughters’ love to her ex-husband’s new wife. The very first paragraph sets the melancholic tone and fills it up with subtle anxiety. “She sensed her daughters everywhere, but it was just her imagination. They were gone” (Goodman 1). Even though the children were alive, these were the times when the ones she bore and raised practically by herself, were out with their father Richard, and his fiancé Heather. “The mother archetype is the bounty of nature, which gives us our life and all that we need for that life, and which is anyone’s legacy by the fact of being alive” (Johnson). Debra’s true motherly nature peeks through her memories of sacrifices she had made for the girls: “She prepared. She planned meals and vacations, scheduled lessons, and preregistered for summer camp. … she gave up free time and exercise. When they were older, she gave up her job, because two people could not work the kind of hours they did and see the children while they were awake” (Goodman 2). While it was hard work, she enjoyed being a mother, this was her whole life, and despite the hardships, always wanted a third child. While the text does not mention (Debra doesn’t) the circumstances make up for the silence, she worries that just like Richard, Sophie, and Lily would choose Heather too. Debra is great at observing how her legacy is changing. Several small nuances cause anxious bleeding wounds from the comparison of her memories and the present behaviors of her daughters such as having forced conversations over the phone while they are having a great time with Heather and the painfully meaningless, habitual words of goodbye “Love You” (4) In her struggle to maintain dignity, the other characters are setting up inner battlefields to fight her shadow self.

However, in every traditional family, there’s a father as well, next to the mother, who is expected to complement the Mother’s role and share the responsibilities. The Father Archetype represents wisdom, intelligence, and decisiveness. (Jung) Richard, her ex-husband, comes through as someone who had distanced himself from Debra due to her “fast-forwarding” and overplanning nature, which may sound true. Debra admits that she has been taking on too many tasks, however, Richard has been of no help to her at all. Debra explains that Richard had told her to slow down and get help, tough “Of course, he never considered helping. When they fought he said, But you insist on doing everything. This was true” (2). Debra may have been persistent, but Richard as a father never even considered helping–and though he could have done so in small acts–he never did. His lack of masculinity as a partner for Debra caused her to take on everything beyond her motherhood. Undoubtedly, she had to tap into her anima/animus, the opposite gender role to fill in his gap. She had no manly help in raising their daughters, and so her overplanning, fast-forwarding anxiety cracked a chasm between them as wife and husband, father and mother. But it doesn’t stop only there.

Richard’s credibility plummeted further when Debra remembered her conversation about cleaning the girls’ room. “The kids won’t learn to clean up after themselves if you do it for them…he had been scrupulous about telling the girls to do whatever task Debra required. Do as I say, not as I do” (5). In other words: He doesn’t walk the talk. Richard’s lack of control over his own life manifested during their luncheon after learning that Heather was pregnant. While Debra and Heather made up a plan about the timing of telling the girls about pregnancy and proposing, Heather subtly but very strongly established her control by agreeing with Debra and one-upping her with remarks, such as “We are in this together” and “That this is forever” meanwhile Richard stayed silent even when his and Heather’s opinion collided about finding out the gender of their baby. He only wishes to be the Provider, the Father, the Husband, and The Leader, but he is too weak and inconsiderate to do so.  Hence why Heather could disrespect her agreement with Debra about timing, slowly pushing her out of the family Debra had worked so hard for.

Instead of standing up against the subtle discrimination, she keeps her thoughts to herself, silently battling the pain of lack of action or the actions she did not deserve. She doesn’t even mention to them that Richard didn’t wait at all, and most of all, awaiting his third child Debra had wanted so much, as the first of another woman. She even tries to talk herself into taking it this way, after realizing that someone else is about to have what she wished for. Most of us would be angry, disappointed, or even throwing a tantrum. But not Debra. “The King’s first wife – that’s who the evil fairy would have been. But that wasn’t Debra. Not at all. She just needed a minute. … she felt a pang, hearing his good fortune” (Goodman 7). This pang of painful disappointment is what sets off a Villain, or in her case, the Rebel Archetype Debra is battling through denial. For good reason. A failed Father persona is not wise, nor decisive. He is led by someone else’s much stronger shadow and persona.

Heather is in control by embodying the persona of The Maiden. She appears to be the perfect woman, who does sports, eats healthy, is wise, and calm, and acts as the ultimate partner, the manifestation of warm and accepting relationships. “The Maiden is the woman. She personifies innocence and softness. The simple Maiden meets a man and gives birth to become Mother. She is the feminine component in a man’s psyche and the inspirer of his life” (Jeffrey). Debra’s mask approves of her, especially towards her therapist, claiming that she can work with her, which makes Debra voluntarily blind to what Heather truly is: a Seductress or Trickster. The first’s purpose is to reflect humanity’s complex relationship with desire and morality, which indeed puts her in juxtaposition with Debra. The latter, the Trickster is a playful figure that challenges norms and disrupts order. “The Trickster archetype is sometimes referred to as a puppet master or a manipulator” (Jeffrey). The purpose is to bring chaos to promote growth or expose deeper truths. With that, though a trickster likes to manipulate in the shadows, it is hard for them to stay put when control is at stake.

Debra noticed Heather’s sarcasm and honeyed responses but never addressed them. “Why don’t you try the water, Debra suggested. And Heather smiled. She appreciated Debra’s sense of humor. Of course she did, because she was perfect” (Goodman 7). Debra’s shadow archetype peaked through since she, in reality, did not like Heather. Their relationship becomes a collision of shadow personas repressed by the masks they are both wearing. The Maiden Heather acts to cover for the Seductress/Trickster and the Mother Debra covers for the Rebel. The reality of being an adult is recognizing and controlling our unconscious emotions, which is only true for Debra, but not for Heather and Richard. The latter two are oblivious to what is going on inside them, while Debra is at least half conscious and as such, controls herself much better. The outcome was that they slowly isolated her from their and her daughter’s lives. Especially during the scene where she was writing the family proposal during her phone call with Lily, we can see every aspect of that proposal being violated (9). Debra could not disregard how Heather was playing nice to win her family over, to steal everything she had established from right under her nose. While she masked herself as a Maiden, her shadow self of a trickster was much less subtle through her actions. It appears that Heather thought she had won, but Debra thought otherwise. In her sarcasm about Heather’s so-called perfection, there was pity as well. “You are great, Debra thought. You really are. And, at the same time, you have no idea. Parenting times three. The sleepless night ahead, the tantrums and book reports and standardized tests and the million ways that kids in middle school are mean” (8). Debra knew the hardships of motherhood but did not warn Heather because she was considerate of their happiness. Another sacrifice as a grownup, as a mother archetype among children and childish people to repress her bubbling shadow of a rebel.

All for The Innocents, though we don’t get to see Sophie and Lily much, we can surely say that they are the innocent ones, as they are children enchanted by Heather’s spell. The Innocents represent new hope for the future, though, for Debra, their innocence is painful. Her true feelings also revolve around them both in her Persona and Shadow. She dared not to manipulate them as Heather did and knew how she could become the evil fairy the moment she would express herself as the Rebel. “She almost wished they’d revealed the gender, too, and named the baby, and that their perfect child was in school, and Richard was showing just how involved he could be the second time around. … Debra wished it had all happened already, so she didn’t have to watch” (Goodman 9).

The integration of the shadow fosters self-awareness and wholeness. The Rebel challenges authority and the status quo, and its purpose is to represent freedom and individualism. Everything Debra cannot be or could not do. Throughout the story, she plays with career ideas where her nurturing personality could thrive, now that she cannot raise a third child. She could not let go of her past, she dared not to be free, and she dared not to be honest. Not even when her sister said everything aloud over the phone.

“Becca said, He’s just bad.

He isn’t bad, Debra said numbly.

Yes, he is!

He’s inconsiderate, Debra said, That doesn’t make him bad.”

… He blindsided you!” (Goodman 10).

Debra is afraid of admitting her anger, frustration, and sense of betrayal because she would have to face that she has been taking it all without standing up for herself. Yet, if she did, if she rebelled, she would have ostracized herself like the evil fairy or stepmother from the family she nurtured for years. To avoid her true fear of being left behind, bitter and lonely, watching everyone get what they wanted–what she had wanted–become reality, she could not abandon the self-sacrificing mask. In her everyday scenarios with her daughters, ex-husband, and his fiancé, in The Last Grownup, Debra grapples with the loss of her identity and purpose. She confronts the diminishing significance of her role within the Mother archetype, all while engaging in a half-conscious struggle against her shadow self, embodied by the archetype of the Rebel.

There’s an unmovable force within the gentleness of The Caregiver, Max. His role is to offer compassion, aid, and support to others. The Caregiver’s purpose is to embody selflessness and nurturing. In “The Last Grownup”, this archetype is embodied by the sweet Samoyed dog of the family that stayed with Debra, and sure enough, she needed his “pure of heart” to lick injuries better, even if the injury was invisible. (1, 11) In the end, Debra’s Mother archetype seemed to turn toward him as a coping mechanism, which represented her lost sense of purpose to be found one day in the metaphor of lost earbuds and balls. “And then, as soon as I buy a new one the old one will turn up. … I don’t know why it happens. It’s funny, right? But that’s just how it goes” (Goodman 11). Her last lines end the story in a hopeful tone, toward healing.

WORKS CITED

Goodman, Allegra. The Last Grownup. The New Yorker, October 25, 2021, https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2023/02/27/the-last-grownup.

Long, Liza (2024, January 16). Critical Worlds, Part Seven: Psychological Criticism, What is psychological criticism? Pressbooks. https://cwi.pressbooks.pub/lit-crit/chapter/what-is-psychological-criticism/

Jeffrey, S. (2024, October 10). A Beginner’s Guide to Jungian Archetypes: 15+ Classic Images. https://scottjeffrey.com/classic-jungian-archetypes/

Johnson, R. A. (1995). The Fisher King and the Handless Maiden: Understanding the Wounded Feeling Function in Masculine and Feminine Psychology – Softcover HarperOne.

Jung, C. G. (2014). Collected Works of C. G. Jung, Volume 9 (Part 1): Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious. Princeton University Press

“The Phenomenology of the Spirit in Fairytales”. Volume 9/1 The Collected Works of C. G. Jung, Volume 9 (Part 1), edited by R. F.C. Hull, Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1969, pp. 207-254. https://doi.org/10.1515/9781400850969.207